508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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