I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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