i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize