i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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