How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize