My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize