Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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