Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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