ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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