It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize