just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize