Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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