They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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