I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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