Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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