tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize