That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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