We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize