wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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