Kiss
Puke
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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