Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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