friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize