Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize