my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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