it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The ass gains better be worth it
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