there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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