booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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