I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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