Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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