nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Drunk is not a location!
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