And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize