i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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