I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize