You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize