My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just googled if crying burns calories
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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