Are we in a gay sports bar?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
where are my eyebrows?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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