Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize