wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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