So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
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HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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