i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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