I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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