Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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