I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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