The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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