Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dear god my vagina.
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