sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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