Dual....:-)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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