I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Help. Why am I so naked?
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