Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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