There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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