i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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